Monthly Archives: April 2003

The Crime of Complacency

The United Nations has become a circus. I couldn’t help but think that today, as I read the news that Cuba has been reelected to the U.N. Human Rights Commission. This is the same one, by the way, that is … Continue reading

Posted in Politics | 1 Comment

Retards in Red States #4

Tonight I was watching Real Time with Bill Maher on HBO. This guy, Brian from North Carolina, phoned into the show: “Don’t you think the SARS virus could be a terrorist attack, and if so, how can we fight it?” … Continue reading

Posted in Politics | Comments Off on Retards in Red States #4

What’s your ecological footprint?

I think this test is just more Earth Day bullshit, but I’ll post it anyway: CATEGORY ACRES FOOD 5.4 MOBILITY 2.2 SHELTER 6.2 GOODS/SERVICES 7.7 TOTAL FOOTPRINT 22 IN COMPARISON, THE AVERAGE ECOLOGICAL FOOTPRINT IN YOUR COUNTRY IS 24 ACRES … Continue reading

Posted in Profiles | 1 Comment

Turning a Blind Eye

This picture is from a deeply moving article that ran in Thursday’s New York Times: “This is all because of Saddam!” shrieked Ali Majid al-Shamali, in tears, as he waved his arms at the long rows of graves marked with … Continue reading

Posted in Politics | 1 Comment

Turning a Blind Eye #2

Tom Friedman’s latest column dovetails nicely with my post on the same subject: It is clear that in ending Saddam’s tyranny, a huge human engine for mass destruction has been broken. The thing about Saddam’s reign is that when you … Continue reading

Posted in Politics | Comments Off on Turning a Blind Eye #2

Rambling Retard

Straight from the transcript: SANTORUM: Every society in the history of man has upheld the institution of marriage as a bond between a man and a woman. Why? Because society is based on one thing: that society is based on … Continue reading

Posted in Politics | Comments Off on Rambling Retard

Hypocrisy

Sorry, lost the link. You’ll just have to trust me. A Republican fundraiser who once said Bill Clinton was “a lawbreaker and a terrible example to our nation’s young people” has pleaded guilty to production of child pornography. Richard Anthony … Continue reading

Posted in Politics | Comments Off on Hypocrisy

Interested in a PDA?

I’m selling mine. It’s an HP iPaq 5455. You know, the top model, complete with biometric security, Bluetooth and wireless LAN. I just bought it because Other People were buying PDAs too. That, and the fact that I might have … Continue reading

Posted in Technology | Comments Off on Interested in a PDA?

Retards in Red States #3

James Carville once called Pennsylvania “Philadelphia and Pittsburgh with Alabama in between.” Sure, Al Gore narrowly won Pennsylvania in 2000, but don’t be misled. Aside from the metropolitan areas, this is Bush Country, with wide swaths of red counties lapping … Continue reading

Posted in Politics | Comments Off on Retards in Red States #3

The Cult of Tivo

According to the New York Times, Tivo owners just can’t shut up about how much they love the device: Like early adopters of cellphones and the Internet, the first wave of users of personal video recorders swear that the devices … Continue reading

Posted in Technology | 2 Comments

Am not…

Tell me something I don’t know… “You probably work in computers, or a history deptartment at a college. You never really fit in with the “normal” crowd. But you have friends, and this is a good thing.” Take the Geek … Continue reading

Posted in Profiles | 2 Comments

How’s your mideast geography?

Check it out. I got all the Gulf states, and even a few former Soviets. But those damn afrikaans… This post is dedicated to Azamat, my summer school buddy turned pen pal from Kyrgysztan.

Posted in Offbeat | 1 Comment

Dumb Customers #2

I just spoke to a customer who couldn’t spell the word “clinic.” Seriously. He had to ask me for help. I was dumbfounded at first; silence on the phone. Then I responded, “C-L-I-N-I-C…You know, like the free one your daughter … Continue reading

Posted in Offbeat | 1 Comment

Mr. Cranky Rates War Coverage

Like an Iraqi soldier dressed in civilian clothes, Fox News has crept in under the false cover of objectivity to unleash a blitzkrieg of bias so right wing that channel-surfers often mistake it for a eugenics infomercial. The only nod … Continue reading

Posted in Media | Comments Off on Mr. Cranky Rates War Coverage

In Kansas?

Okay, why don’t we have classes like this?

Posted in Offbeat | Comments Off on In Kansas?

Limping into the Weekend

My work schedule for the remainder of the week: 12 meetings in three days. The breakdown: seven presentations that I’m giving, fouroverlong training sessions for the company’s new enterprise application, and one meeting on the government’s new healthcare privacy regulations. … Continue reading

Posted in Life | Comments Off on Limping into the Weekend

Dumb Customers

There are some customers you just dread talking to. Take this one lady, Gayle. We all hate talking to her, because she sounds like a demented kindergarten teacher. Picture Connie Chung on speed. The first time I talked to her, … Continue reading

Posted in Offbeat | Comments Off on Dumb Customers

Dear Ethicist…

I just sent this question off to The Ethicist over at the New York Times: Dear Ethicist, I took my beloved ’91 Plymouth Laser to the mechanic a few weeks ago for an oil light check, and got a nasty … Continue reading

Posted in Life | 2 Comments

A Museum Massacre?

Looters have apparently smashed and stolen many artifacts in the National Museum of Antiquities in Baghdad. As employees returned today to survey the damage at one of the world’s greatest repositories of artifacts, they encountered devastation that defied their worst … Continue reading

Posted in News | 1 Comment

Hot Sellers in Red States

[Click here for more patriotic items!]

Posted in Offbeat | 2 Comments

Faux News

What if Fox News were around during other historical events? View more…

Posted in Media | Comments Off on Faux News

So long, “best friend”

I told you things would change. I used to counsel other friends that, when the stress of maintaining any relationship outweighs the pleasure you receive from it, it’s time to step back and assess whether a separation is needed. I … Continue reading

Posted in Life | 8 Comments

Retards in Red States #2

This is the kind of stupidity I’ve come to expect from politicians in heavily Republican districts: Bill would ban aid for students from terrorist nations …The proposal was drafted by state Rep. Dick Kravitz, who said he doesn’t like the … Continue reading

Posted in Politics | Comments Off on Retards in Red States #2

A Warmonger Explains War to a Peacenik

PN: So, likewise, if the world called on us to do something, such as find a peaceful solution, we would have an obligation to listen? WM: By “world,” I meant the United Nations. PN: So, we have an obligation to … Continue reading

Posted in Politics | 2 Comments

I am who I am

So I had this meeting with my boss today. Asked him what I needed to do for a raise promotion. He said I’d been doing a good job so far, but that I needed to keep team morale in mind … Continue reading

Posted in Life | 5 Comments

Ah, April in Philadelphia

One week I’m rollerblading around the Schuylkill River, and the next I’m driving to work in a blizzard.

Posted in Life | Comments Off on Ah, April in Philadelphia

A Wrenching Injustice

This is why I only support the death penalty in cases of DNA (or other forensic) evidence. Sadly, this is just one in a long line of cases where individuals have lost their best years because of unreliable witnesses and … Continue reading

Posted in News | Comments Off on A Wrenching Injustice

Crank Yankers

This show is hilarious. Here’s the beginning of some girl’s prank call to a department store: Umm, I was in the store, and I got totally sprayed by the perfume counter. I did not want to be sprayed, and now, … Continue reading

Posted in Offbeat | Comments Off on Crank Yankers

Retards in Red States

This is from a Wall Street Journal story about inbreds in Elkhart, Indiana with nothing to do: A bunch of armed guys from this small city are prepared to take on terrorists. The “Homeland Security” crew isn’t very busy, though. … Continue reading

Posted in Culture | 1 Comment

Healthcare IT

This is the kind of jargon-filled spam I get at work: From: Maureen G——– To: PHL IT Department Subject: BC of CA Can you please confim that EPO Rev code 634 HCPC code Q99– is transmitting as 1 per 1000 … Continue reading

Posted in Offbeat | 1 Comment

The Poetry of Donald Rumsfeld

The Unknown As we know, There are known knowns. There are things we know we know. We also know There are known unknowns. That is to say We know there are some things We do not know. But there are … Continue reading

Posted in Politics | 2 Comments

The Orwellian Corporation

When I came in to work this morning and turned on my monitor, there was a window open with the following message: Mr Benson, Your inability to secure your workstation is a serious breech of [D—–] security. Please be advised … Continue reading

Posted in Offbeat | Comments Off on The Orwellian Corporation