I told you things would change.
I used to counsel other friends that, when the stress of maintaining any relationship outweighs the pleasure you receive from it, it’s time to step back and assess whether a separation is needed.
I can’t believe I spent so much time ignoring my own advice.
There’s no way to really explain it clearly, but how about this: I’m tired of having to deal with people who are so emotionally haphazard that every interaction is a high-wire act in which I tip-toe around their deep-seated insecurities and inhibitions. And I’m tired of associating with people with whom I can’t have an intelligent conversation without struggling against the narrow-minded fear and ignorance of the goddamn Dark Ages.
The person I spoke to tonight said “I’ve known you for X years. I can’t believe you’re going to do this over a freakin’ issue!” That’s not the reason. Heavens, no. I disagree with lots of friends “on the issues,” and barring certain extreme views, it would be stupid to end friendships because of them.
At the same time, though, I’ve spent way too much time dealing with narrow, one-dimensional, ill-informed, up tight and selfish people who will never (care to) understand me or where I’m coming from. The cheap novelty of those interactions has now given way to a nauseating predictability that leaves me, quite simply, wanting more.
Only time will tell if I’m making a huge mistake. But I suspect that improving my own life starts with distancing myself from those who so often leave me feeling angry, frustrated or just plain misunderstood.