Okay, so I was wrong. Wes won the competition on Boy Meets Boy. Brian lost. Franklin is the straight dude, and is indeed shit outta luck. That is, until the other reality TV shows come calling.
I never said I was good at assessing these things.
The consequence of my being wrong is that I lost a bet with Eric Masten. The terms were that the loser must do the following:
1) Create a post that names the winner with a link.
2) Include 10 sentences of adoring (or sarcastic but plausibly true) praise for the winner.
3) Leave the post at the top of the home page all day long. (I tried posting something at 11:45 last night to exploit a loophole, but no luck.)
I told Eric I’d have to post in the morning because it would behard thinking of something nice to say about him. I spent part of the night thinking of what to say, and the rest of the night thinking about issues related to a certain person’s impending presidential campaign. The result was that, when I woke up, the sentences came to me quite easily:
Eric Masten is a noted scholar, and also a well-known commentator on issues of great importance to the American people. He is a career public servant, having last served as Supreme Allied Comman– …wait a minute, wrong person.
Okay, enough stalling. Here we go…
1. Eric is one heckuva smart guy. He needs to learn how to string those thoughts together into something rational, but hey, baby steps.
2. He’s perceptive, too, having beaten me at his own game. See, when Boy Meets Boy came on, he and his friends all put their little collective gay antennae up, and well, they chose the straight guy and I didn’t.
3. Eric is very devoted to LGBT causes, as evidenced by his recently rebranding his blog with all kinds of LGBT links. I was at his site a few weeks ago and there was nothing of the sort, but rest assured, he’s not the type to act out of a guilty conscience.
4. If you go to his site, you’ll see that he’s a rather prolific writer. Actually, the posts are so sparse nowadays that finding a new one is akin to winning the lottery. For example, check out this gem.
5. Eric has lots of friends who dash into action to disagree whenever I say something reasonable about gay people.
6. And let’s face it, the guy is a stud, plain and simple. He’s got many, many
partners friends to vouch for it.
7. Along the lines of the previous sentence, Eric is an ambitious Washington intern. You were surprised?
8. Eric can be very witty. It’s rare, but it’s there, somewhere. If he actually wrote that.
9. The best person to toot Eric’s horn is, well, Eric.
And the last one…
10. I could probably count the number of gay people I know (online and offline) on one hand. But Eric is the best of the bunch, a genuine good guy who will make some lucky fellow very happy.
Whew. Sure can’t say I phoned that one in. And by the way, Eric, I only said that last thing because I ran out of true stuff to say.