Alexander Hamilton

Wow, anyone who knows me will say this test is dead on:

Yep, that sums up my most observable traits: a schrooge-like disdain for useless social rituals, a strong antipathy toward unthinking people, and pessimistic view of human nature that flirts with outright cynicism.

Yet, I still try. Why? Because I also believe that, if people would just reason with one another, we could solve the vast majority of the our problems. Yep...strange as it may seem, it's my faith in the power of sobersided discussion that gets me up in the morning.

One can't help but to look at society and wonder why those who seem least willing to reason and compromise (in politics, the media, etc.) always seem to rise inexorably to society's most highly esteemed positions. That fact, I think, a confession of our own failures, and a symbol of our retarded intellectual development as a nation.

Well, anyway. Which founding father are you?

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The Rich List

Umm wow. According to this site, I should be giving a lot more to the needy. The stats are a bit off, since I do moonlight...

YOUR GLOBAL RICH LIST POSITION

You are in the top 0.839% richest people in the world.

There are 5,949,632,435 people poorer than you.

How do you feel about that? A bit richer we hope. Please consider donating just a small amount to help some of the poorest people in the world. Many of their lives could be improved dramatically or even saved if you donate just one hour's salary (approx $41.66)

Oh, and in case you’re interested you are the 50,367,565 richest person in the world.

Gee...for some reason, I don't feel guilty.

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You Have Been Judged

Another dumb test, this time to find the likelihood that I'd be sent to Hell for various reasons...

Here is how you matched up in all the levels:

Level	Score
Repenting Believers	Very Low
Virtuous Non-Believer	Moderate
Lustful	High
Gluttonous	High
Prodigal and Avaricious	High
Wrathful and Gloomy	Moderate
Heretics	Very High
Violent	Very High
Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers	Moderate
Treacherous	Moderate

Uhhhh. Just because I spend hours playing Grand Theft Auto doesn't mean I'm violent.

My notable answers:

Have you suffered suicidal thoughts? -No
Have you been in any physical fights in recent years? -No
Have you ever cheated on a boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse? -No
Do you donate time or money to charities? -Yes
Do you believe in God? -No
Do you look at pornography? -Yes
Do you think science and logic represent the pinnacle of human understanding? -Yes
Do you use God's name in vain (ex. "God damn it," "Oh my God")? -Yes
Do you enjoy violent movies and video games? -Yes
Have you been to a strip club? -Yes
Do you believe it is your right to indulge yourself with every last dollar you earn? -Yes
Do you repent for your sins? -No
Do you consider living a virtuous life to be one of your top goals? -Yes
Do you believe in an afterlife? -No
Do you "hate" a lot of people? -No
Have you ever taken pleasure in someone else's misery? -No
Have you ever engaged in oral or anal sex? -Yes to the former, No to the latter. These two acts should be separate questions.
Have you ever seduced someone, only to lose interest soon after? -Yes
Can you see yourself engaging in treason against your country? -Yes
Could you picture yourself assassinating someone or ordering an assassination on someone if it meant that you would become very rich and powerful? -No

Through God, all things are possible. -False
In war, the best idea is to bomb the hell out of the other country. -True. It may not be the "best" idea, but it's the surest way to win once war breaks out.
Morals are relative. -False, though my definition of morally judgeable acts is pretty narrow.
It's okay to punch someone if they "have it coming." -False
Religion is fiction. -True
It's okay to cut a family member out of your life if they have done something that you strongly disagree with. -True
Rich men and women deserve every penny and should spend or save their wealth as they wish. -True
It is acceptable to use false flattery to get ahead. -False
Hammering away on scandals is a good way to damage those with whom you disagree politically. -False
A pimp is a good thing to be. -False
Some people just deserve to die. -True. Namely, those who murder others.

Take the test!

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'Bout right

I'm just surprised that the people making this test could actually nail down Kerry on a few positions.

Anyway, the poll ranked the candidates exactly in my order of electability (except for Kucinich, who should be way at the bottom, even lower than Bush).

1. Kerry, Senator John, MA - Democrat (100%)
2. Lieberman Senator Joe CT - Democrat (92%)
3. Kucinich, Cong. Dennis, OH - Democrat (91%)
4. Gephardt, Cong. Dick, MO - Democrat (88%)
5. Edwards, Senator John, NC - Democrat (84%)
6. Dean, Gov. Howard, VT - Democrat (76%)
7. Graham, Senator Bob, FL - Democrat (72%)
8. Moseley-Braun, Former Senator Carol IL - Democrat (69%)
9. Sharpton, Reverend Al - Democrat (69%)
10. Bush, George W. - US President (23%)

Take the test!

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Morality and the "Yuk" Factor

Oh yes, another test. A pretty good one, too.

Your Moralising Quotient is: 0.04.

Your Interference Factor is: 0.00.

Your Universalising Factor is: 0.00.

"You see very little wrong in the actions depicted in these scenarios. You don't think that an act can be morally wrong if it is entirely private and no one (not even the person doing the act) is harmed by it."

The "taboo" situations in the test are cleverly designed to be the most extreme ones that do not involve direct provable harm (breaking deathbed promises, adult incest, eating household animals after they die, screwing dead farm animals). That is, the test identifies the extent to which readers can discern between their own distaste for an action and legitimate moral judgement of that action based on its effects on others.

Here's a good litmus test I use to determine whether my feelings against something should be translated into actual beliefs: Can I explain, logically, why I feel it's wrong?

Those who answer by stating "It just IS" are usually allowing their revulsion to take the place of logic. I tend to view such people as ignorant, insecure, non-thinking and generally devolved.

Also note that the score does not mean one is "liberal" or generally permissive on issues that are moral matters. I consider myself quite conservative on those.

Check out the test...

Profiles | 229 Words | Comments (10)

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Geekdom

According to this rather long test, I'm 17.357% geek. Just enough, I think, to hold my own without being dysfunctionally geeky.

Here are my affirmative answers:

I HAVE...

- studied a language on my own. Programming language, that is.

- dated a geek.

- done homework for somebody else.

- looked forward to doing my taxes. I owed money. Like $4,000.

- attended public academic lectures on my own.

- worn 2+ watches at the same time. I can explain...one was a sports watch and I needed the chrorograph!

- named a pet after a gaming, literary, or B-movie character.

- thought I could win a quiz show.

- corrected a professor in class. All the time...*sigh*

- corrected a salesperson on technical specs.

- corrected a supervisor on spelling or grammar.

- written a letter to the editor. I was an editor. But before that, I wrote letters.

- indexed and catalogued any personal collection. I used to have a thing for downloading movie trailers. Had hundreds of them at one point.

- gone to the movies alone. Matinees only, of course. heh.

- skipped parties to program or repair computers.

- skipped parties to read or study.

- skipped parties to talk online. ...but only if I wasn't too hot about going, anyway.

I HAVE BEEN...

- called a geek several times.

- in the chess club. I was VP of mine.

- to museums by my own freewill. I used to work at The Franklin Institute, doing papermaking demonstrations, and also an African mask workshop.

I HAVE READ...

- books on history outside class.

- gaming books.

- software/computer language books.

I WANT...

- GPS.

- more friends.

I BELIEVE...

- that anything can be fixed.

I ROUTINELY WATCH...

- documentaries.

- obscure movies.

- foreign films.

- History or Discovery Channel.

- bonus features on DVDs.

I HAVE SEEN MORE THAN TWICE...

- The Followship of the Ring.

- The Two Towers.

- The Matrix.

- The Neverending Story.

I OWN...

- 3+ computers.

- PDA, pager and cell phone. Assuming Nextel counts for a pager.

- DVD burner.

- 2+ DVD players. Four of them, if my computer drives count!

I WANT TO BE...

- a wizard.

I LIKE TO...

- play with words/sounds.

- turn on my computer first thing in the morning. And my projector...
-use 1024x768 or higher.

- program.

- tinker with electronics.

- watch public access TV. CSPAN...close enough.

- learn on my own.

I PLAY...

- chess.

- Weezer.

- music that nobody else listens to, ever. Electronica, Sigur Ros, Mum.

- computer strategy games. StarCraft, Unreal Tournament...

- games via the Internet. Same.

- an excessive amount of computer games.

I WEAR...

- my shirt tucked into my underwear. Just the undershirt!

- a digital watch. Only the sports watch.

I HAVE...

- had long Mac vs. PC debates. Many, many times.

- altered registry files.

- used Usenet or IRC.

- a hard drive dedicated to MP3s.

- a computer at home with no cover on it.

- built a computer.

- built my own network of computers.

- destroyed things to see how they work.

- played video/computer games for 12+ hours straight.

- created a Web site.

- created a Web site before 1996. And it's still up! We created it using the _first_ graphical HTML tool, Adobe Pagemill 1.0. It looks totally unchanged, except for the frames. Those are even my pictures!

- submitted my own personal Web site to search engines.

- owned a personal domain.

- more than 3 e-mail addresses.

- more than 3 screen names.

I KNOW...

- C++.

- UNIX.

- CGI scripting (perl).

- HTML/JavaScript.

- what HTTP stands for.

- what DPI stands for.

- that AOL is the Spawn of Satan.

- that Bill Gates is both God and Satan.

- what RAM and ROM stand for.

- who first implemented windows on their OS.

- what a "patch" means in computer terms.

- what the blue screen of death means.

I KNOW...

- my age in binary. Actually, it took me a while to remember my age. Anyway, 00011000.

- that the new millennium started in 2001.

- that I am a geek.

BONUS...

- My profession requires a certain level of geekiness.

Take the test!

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Numenorean

I have no clue who the Numenorean are, but they sound good to me:

To which race of Middle Earth do you belong? Take the test.

*UPDATE* I searched the web, and found this description of the Numenoreans:

The numenoreans are evil men. They have sophistication and social values that the other races simply do not have. They are tall, and generally arrogant. They have good leadership skills, and are excellent ship builders. They are fisherman, interested in learning, teaching and writing. They are the only race that could be called 'proficient' at the dark arts, they are a treacherous breed - but fake a united front. The numenoreans fight constantly amongst themselves, preferring to show a united face to the rest of the world, however. The numenoreans believe that they are superior to all others, and are constantly embattled in internal politics.

Yup...sounds like me. :-)

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I'm a Puma

What's Your Animal Personality?

Yup...sounds like me.

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What's your ecological footprint?

I think this test is just more Earth Day bullshit, but I'll post it anyway:

CATEGORY	ACRES
FOOD	5.4
MOBILITY	2.2
SHELTER	6.2
GOODS/SERVICES	7.7
TOTAL FOOTPRINT	22
IN COMPARISON, THE AVERAGE ECOLOGICAL FOOTPRINT IN YOUR COUNTRY IS 24 ACRES PER PERSON. WORLDWIDE, THERE EXIST 4.5 BIOLOGICALLY PRODUCTIVE ACRES PER PERSON. IF EVERYONE LIVED LIKE YOU, WE WOULD NEED 4.8 PLANETS.

I just love the admonishing "like you" part. I guess it's supposed to make me feel bad, like some morbidly fat person downing a footlong meatball sandwich in front of an Ethiopian sanctuary. Then there are the wonderful globes, just to ram the point home.

$%&!*%# greedy Americans.

Take the test to find out your so-called "footprint."

Profiles | 118 Words | Comments (1)

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Am not...

Tell me something I don't know...

I am 43% Geek

"You probably work in computers, or a history deptartment at a college. You never really fit in with the "normal" crowd. But you have friends, and this is a good thing."

Take the Geek Test... I am 52% Internet Addict

"I am pretty addicted, but there is hope. I think I'm just well connected to the internet and technology, but it's really a start of a drug-like addiction. I must act now! Unplug this computer!"

Pfft...take the Internet Addict Test...

Profiles | 91 Words | Comments (2)

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Centrist == Boring

Take the quiz here.

Your Political Philosophy:

According to your answers, your political philosophy is centrist. The red dot on the chart shows where you fit on the political map.

Centrists favor selective government intervention and emphasize practical solutions to current problems. They tend to keep an open mind on new issues. Many centrists feel that government serves as a check on excessive liberty.

Your Personal Self-Government Score is 60%.

Your Economic Self-Government Score is 40%.

Libertarian	36.3%
Left-liberal	18.4%
Centrist	30.0%
Right-Conservative	7.1%
Authoritarian	8.2%

Politics | 88 Words | Comments (0)

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