Maybe someone can clue me in to this whole Black Friday thing.

People usually have the Friday after Thanksgiving off from work. So I'd have thought they would use that day for some much-needed sloth. You know, sleep in, and then spend the rest of the morning/afternoon in front of the TV, clicker in hand, letting last night's dinner marinate in their bellies.

But instead, many of them are up bright and early, rushing out to rev up their SUVs so they can swamp the nearest department/electronics store to take advantage of "bargains" on the first day of the holiday shopping period.

What these idiots don't realize is that these stores quickly "run out" (i.e. stock only 10) of the advertised items, because they know that gullible customers will just buy the closest item that is stocked but for some reason isn't discounted.

It's really funny that these people are out hunting for discounts anyway. According to several surveys, shoppers are planning to cut back their holiday spending due to rising energy costs. Again, how many of those people are driving SUVs?

Why can't Americans understand simple cause and effect? They rolled out of bed early, camped out at Wal Mart and trampled Grandma Gertrude so they could get one of those $29.99 DVD players from Taiwan. Then they waited in the checkout line for 20 minutes to buy the damn thing when they could've had it for $34.99 and no wait the next day. And then, on the way home, their Ford Explorer XLT belched the savings right out of its ass.

Idiots.