This is possibly the funniest internal memo I've ever read.

The bit about spraying the custodial associate's arm gave me a hilarious visual. And the cake was a nice touch.

Two gems from the comment boards:

"This is what happens when Wal-Mart outsources to the lowest bidder who then hires ex-criminals at rock-bottom wages and proceeds to treat them like shit (no pun intended)."

"I wonder if the 100-year-old greeters are somehow responsible."