I found the following list on an INTJ discussion group.  It's worded a little more sharply than I would have it, but makes sense nonetheless.

1. Be willing to back up your statements with facts -- or at least some pretty sound reasoning.

2. Don't expect them to respect you or your viewpoints just because you say so.  An INTJ's respect must be earned.

3. Be willing to concede when you are wrong.  The average INTJ respects the truth over being "right."  Withdraw your erroneous comment and they will see you as a very reasonable person.  Stick to erroneous comments and they will think you are an irrational idiot and treat everything you say as being questionable.

4. Try not to be repetitive.  It annoys them.

5. Do not feed them a line of bull.

6. Expect debate.  INTJs like to tear ideas apart for intellectual stimulation.

7. Do not mistake the strength of your conviction with the strength of your argument.  INTJs do not need to believe in a position to argue it and argue it well.  Therefore, it will take more than fervor to sway them.

8. Do not be surprised at sarcasm.

9. Remember that INTJs believe in workable solutions.  They are extremely open-minded to possibilities, but they will quickly discard any idea that is unfeasible.  INTJ open-mindedness means that they are willing to have a go at an idea by trying to pull it apart.  This horrifies people who expect oohs and ahhs and reverence.  This also means that they will not just accept any viewpoint that is presented to them.  The bottom line is "Does it work?" - end discussion.

The ultimate INTJ insult to an idea is to ignore it, because that means it's not even interesting enough to deconstruct.

10. Do not expect INTJs to actually care about how you view them.  They already know that they are viewed as arrogant bastards with a morbid sense of humor.  Telling them the obvious accomplishes nothing.

"A group of INTJs is an argument."